Banking for little people

I drove by a bank on my way to some random thing I was doing and saw a sign that said

"No fees, free checking, free savings account"

I thought, wow how incredibly generous of them. I give them my money, and in order to qualify I need to do a direct deposit from work, and I have to maintain a $5000 balance and I can only write ten checks a month and there is a charge if I use any ATM that isn't theirs, and I cant use their ATM more than ten times a month.

All of this when I give them my money, that they realistically give me nothing in return for because the 0.025% interest isn't paying off my vacation house in Belize anymore.

And they can invest in anything they want without my say. They can fund sub-prime loans, or send the money to Uzbekistan as part of their portfolio, regardless of the risk to my money and if I don't like that, well suck it up Francis.

All of this so I can do what again?

Which translates to letting them be a fee based clearing house to pay my bills.

I use USAA and love them, because they dont do any of these things.

Vegetable Based Sarcasm

First off, there are for the most part two kinds of people.

1) Those that like artichokes, and
2) People that still live in the dark ages of eating paint chips and watching nascar, and,
3) Scott

So the question being, and its multi-part, so please use a #2 keyboard and reference your work on all problems

1) Do you steam the artichoke, or are you putting it directly in water and boiling it?

2) When you do whatever you do in #1, do you cut off the tops of the artichoke first, or leave the leaf tops attached?

3) When you are doing both #1 and #2, are you putting the artichoke stalk down or leaf top down?

For the sake of legal issues being addressed and liability, I am assuming you are cutting the stalk down to the base prior to cooking.

Bonus question, and its rhetorical:

4) Technically you don't have to boil or steam the artichoke, you can barbecue it, but since I have never done that, its like the moon landings, since I cant personally figure it out, thus, it must have never been possible. If you do barbecue it, please explain how to be awarded the bonus points.

Moving along:

Once cooked, what, if any are your condiments of choice

Typically this also falls into two basic camps

1) Mayonnaise, or
2) Melted butter

For the most part I vote for the mayonnaise. But I have some flexibility there.

If however, you use miracle whip for an artichoke, or for that matter anything else. Please seek immediate psychological help and do not go near sharp objects, petting zoos or anything flammable.

Random

Mongol General: Conan, What is best in life?

Conan: Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women.

Mongol General: That is good! That is good.

Since this is both on the internet and it's a direct quote from a real person, I thought I would add some more, alternative facts.

This is not fake news.

1) Pizza that is so hot that it almost burns your mouth, but it doesn't.

2) Coffee served by a barista that smiles and doesn't look down on you for ordering something boring.

3) Winning another argument with scott over the technical details of a vorpal weapon.

4) Squirrels that walk towards you when thy hear the secret 'food is on its way' noise from the old human male.

5) Cats that fall asleep above you on a hot summer day.

6) Hitting all of the green lights on a major street.

7) Canadian women's Olympic curling team members.

8) Completely inappropriate text message you get (I love technology).

9) Doing the right thing when you think no one notices. And then you find out someone noticed

Endings and beginnings

Seems like they just occur at the same time. Somewhere is an analogy of a Viking snake myth eating its tail that comes to mind. 

Or perhaps it's just the Tears for Fears lyric "Nothing good happens without some pain."

I don't really know and I am truly the last person I would ask advice from at this point.

I know there is all of the wisdom to be said about its my journey and people, places and things will come and go, it does not however make it any easier. 

And so it begins

Even a small step in that direction proves better than sitting in the basement, both literally and figuratively.

There simply comes a time for action and that time is now.

mg