Banking for little people

I drove by a bank on my way to some random thing I was doing and saw a sign that said

"No fees, free checking, free savings account"

I thought, wow how incredibly generous of them. I give them my money, and in order to qualify I need to do a direct deposit from work, and I have to maintain a $5000 balance and I can only write ten checks a month and there is a charge if I use any ATM that isn't theirs, and I cant use their ATM more than ten times a month.

All of this when I give them my money, that they realistically give me nothing in return for because the 0.025% interest isn't paying off my vacation house in Belize anymore.

And they can invest in anything they want without my say. They can fund sub-prime loans, or send the money to Uzbekistan as part of their portfolio, regardless of the risk to my money and if I don't like that, well suck it up Francis.

All of this so I can do what again?

Which translates to letting them be a fee based clearing house to pay my bills.

I use USAA and love them, because they dont do any of these things.