Mongol General: Conan, What is best in life?

Conan: Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women.

Mongol General: That is good! That is good.

Since this is both on the internet and it's a direct quote from a real person, I thought I would add some more, alternative facts.

This is not fake news.

1) Pizza that is so hot that it almost burns your mouth, but it doesn't.

2) Coffee served by a barista that smiles and doesn't look down on you for ordering something boring.

3) Winning another argument with scott over the technical details of a vorpal weapon.

4) Squirrels that walk towards you when thy hear the secret 'food is on its way' noise from the old human male.

5) Cats that fall asleep above you on a hot summer day.

6) Hitting all of the green lights on a major street.

7) Canadian women's Olympic curling team members.

8) Completely inappropriate text message you get (I love technology).

9) Doing the right thing when you think no one notices. And then you find out someone noticed