Mom: Do you need anything at the store
Mom: Are you sure?
Me: We don’t have any popcorn, and I know how you like it. So if you buy some I will make it.
Mom: What kind?
Me: Just plain, uncooked, corn kernels. Not a brand, not a type, Nothing special about it. Corn Kernels, for popping...
Mom: Who makes that?
Me: Well kind of no one. Its just uncooked popcorn. Not packaged or sold with flavor or anything else. You know, just raw corn kernels.
Mom: Why don’t I buy the pre-made stuff?
Me: Well you can, but you like it when it is cooked better. You don’t like the fake salt and butter taste.
Mom: But then you have to make it…
Me: Yea, but it’s the way you showed me to make it as a kid. We played with boiling oil, in this archaic kettle kind of thing with open heating tubes set to nuclear temperatures. That’s how we made it.
Mom: Isnt that dangerous?
Me: Well if it is, it was a hundred years ago when you showed us how to make it. Either way, get the one you want. Its for you.
Mom: What happened to the corn popper we used?
Me: Well it either got lost in time, or child protective services took it away when the raided the house because you let us use something that is probably banned in a hundred countries now because it was so unsafe.
Mom: You're not funny
Me: That's odd, child protective services felt sorry for me and laughed at my jokes after the raid...
Mom: So, you just want corn then?
Me: Well yes and no. I want corn kernels that are intended to be put in oil to pop, hence the term “Popcorn”. I dont want anything packaged or pre-made. It defeats the purpose.
A few hour later…
She bought some off brand of Orville Redenboker, Gluten Free-Organic-Low Salt-Dairy safe Buttered, Environmentally concerned, low MSG, High Vitamin C, Pop corn in multi packs.
Mom: I got you the low salt popcorn, you need to cut back at your age.