Costco and racial profiling

Disclaimer - the usual, really long post, sarcastic, please try really hard to get offended

I had to go to Costco today.  Really I have many mixed feelings about this.  I used to go and was buying for three or four other people or I was not getting out of there for less than $500. Or in some cases $750.  Yea, some of that was alcohol, but it wasn't always.

My world is really different now.  I rarely go to Costco and if I do I have to be mindful of what I buy that doesn't expire.  And since I am buying only for me and my mom, the junk food fest of the past is gone.  Frozen burritos by the ton and gallons of sour cream are truly a thing of the past.

Much of my life was a series of screw ups intermixed between good things, but that is next weeks post.

Really the thing I noticed in the Costco in Boise as opposed to a few of them in the Seattle area and Southern California was the make-up (or demographic) of people shopping.

What is the same is how people are.  Stereotypes exist for a reason, the main reason is they have more than a shred of truth to them.

It is important to remember that your acceptance of a truth has no barring on it or not.  The fact is the truth is still the truth, and given sufficient anecdotal and empirical data, your opinion, eventually becomes like dust in the wind, or rain on a wedding day, I forget.

If you are easily offended, back out now.  If you don't grasp sarcasm, go look for Pokemon and you should probably delete me, as I live in the sarcasm world.

So now it's time to play the game of people profiling and stereotyping in such a way that if you agree, you will put up a feigned attempt at finding me wrong, but you know it isn't.  Also, we are playing this in such a way, that ideally you don't know who the hell I am talking about.  I probably don't either.

Mostly because the politically correct police in our new world are offended by everything.  Unless you are a North Korean, trans gender, Lutheran, hockey player your demographic is fair game.

I have found sexual preference and religion rarely play a part in this slice of stereotyping.  Which honestly, I wish they did, it would be more fun for me.  And of course I would be able to potentially offend a few more of you.

I digress...

The following are my scientifically proven facts that have no room for error or debate.  Or I am wrong, same thing.


Racial type or country of origin: A

Biological gender: A but sometimes A and B

Age bracket: 4

Are not only typically terrible drivers, they are in fact the worst people to be stuck shopping around.  Their sense of personal space is almost nill.  I attribute this more to their age than the gender bracket. Best part is usually their kids are well behaved. They tend to go shopping in numbers, no idea why.  This doesn't need to be a family event.


Racial type or country of origin: B

Biological gender: A or B

Age bracket: 3 or 4

Usually just a pain to be around because they have to talk through every purchase.  Seriously.  We don't care what you read or heard about the product, shut up, buy it or get moving.  You have TV to watch or something.  Their kids should be in kennels.  Also, get off your cell phone.  Wait until you are outside to talk about nothing of value to someone that is probably two aisles over.


Racial type or country of origin: B

Biological gender: A or B

Age bracket: 2

Other than typically being smug and self centered, they go in, they buy stuff, they get out.  They don't like people. Rarely do they have kids, it cuts into their time.  They also don't like to shop at Costco, it's too common for them.


Racial type or country of origin: C, D or E

Biological gender: A or B, but usually A

Age bracket: 2 or 3

Why do you people just stop in the middle of an aisle.  Like seriously. WTF.  Get off to the side, drive on the right, and for the love of god, get your kids out of my way.  No one cares what the ingredients of that product are and debating this with each other is insane. No Costco doesn't sell obscure stuff, it's a bulk store.


Racial type or country of origin: Any

Biological gender: Any

Age bracket: 1 or 5

You shouldn't be in Costco.  You don't understand it.


Racial type or country of origin: B

Biological gender: B

Age bracket: 2

Who are you kidding, you are there to buy beer, vodka and jack Daniels.  Maybe pizza.


Racial type or country of origin: A or B, sometimes C. But always A and D

Biological gender: A

Age bracket: 2 or 3

Summer, shorts, thin top, please go to the ice cream aisle or the cold produce section, please.